Happy birthday

Adam is a big believer in The Multiverse. He thinks there are various timelines and alternate worlds that function parallel to the one we inhabit. All of the choices you didn't make, the moments that you missed, they're over there (that vague place) and happening and all of that comforts him.

It's something I try not to dwell on too much because it takes so much effort for me to be present in the life that I have and I don't want to get caught up in "What if" daydreaming. I spend enough time worrying about the future without adding the possibilities of congruent lives I could be having.

Today, though, I keep drifting to Over There and what we'd be doing today.

I would've baked a cake and we'd do that saran wrap balloon thing so that when Mazzy walked out of her room she would've been attacked by balloons. She would be five and that's big enough to appreciate that sort of whimsy without being afraid.

And Nora would still be there because we would've wanted another. She would think that balloons were scary, but try to mimic Mazzy anyway. Running behind her big sister and knocking the balloons into the air.

Adam would be chasing the girls while I made breakfast pancakes. And I think, in this world, we would've been less careful, less broken, and I'd be working at night so we'd have more money and I'd be heavy with our third. A boy. So that the girls could focus on him and less on annoying each other.

It seems so nice. I can see why Adam likes this place.

Happy Birthday, my beautiful girl.