Love Letters on my Heart
How sappy is that subject? It's what I'm working with these days, too much emotion and no one to tell me to reign it in. Well, Adam tries, but he's like boy who cried wolf - I've heard it so many times from him that I can no longer believe him.
The house is so quiet. I've gotten in the habit of turning everything off as often as I can. I never thought I'd be the sort of person that could be in a quiet room, alone with my thoughts and unafraid of where they'd take me, but here we are. In a quiet room. Thoughts just a goin'.
Every day feels like another new "thing" with Nora. I'm losing count. I actually got scared that I'd forget things because they're happening to quickly. I have to stop and count up the words she knows, now; ticking them off on my finger like a child. "Mama, Dada, out, off, up, this, that, giraffe, turtle, please...."
And I think about the words she knows, the sounds she can make, and it makes me giggle. She can "Argh" like a pirate and make just about any animal sound you throw at her. What do these words mean as a reflection of me as a parent?
When you meet new toddlers and the parents start parading them in front of you like little monkeys showing off their tricks, don't you sort of judge the kid and the parents on the things they can do? Just me? Not in a bad way, but it can really give an insight into parenting style. Nora, for instance, is exceedingly polite. She uses "please" all of the time and it's very sweet. But, my nephew, Seth, when he was this age could say pop culture phrases and bump your fist.
Nora blows kisses, but doesn't wave. Seth always waved, shouting, "bye" on his way from any room.
Seth never once picked up a toy and put it away. Nora always jumps up to help, because I'm always cleaning and it's something we can do together. I've never once cooked with a kid under the age of five, but I'm always allowing Nora to climb up and "help" by stirring, or sprinkling, or flipping. Because she's so patient and excited about being involved.
Sometimes Nora will say, or do, something that's a total reflection on me as a person. And it's scary. Because we don't always remember that everything we do teaches our child something. I've been rather lucky, so far, but I know that it will come back to haunt me.
The last couple days Nora has been soothing herself by rubbing her arm and whispering, "Shhh" when she's upset. While she's doing it, she heads in my direction for a hug. We cuddle and she pats my back, "shhing" me the whole time.
And sometimes, when I'm upset, or harsh, she "shh's" me, rubbing my leg, or arm, as if to say, "It's okay, Mom. Calm down. We'll get through this together."
Through it all, she's my kid. She's funny and energetic and so, so loving. It's all hugs and cuddles and kisses. She shares everything. I'm amazed with how lucky I am to have this chance to know this side of her. It will probably last only a short time before she is a full-on, screaming monster of a toddler, but I'm going to relish these days while I can.
The house is so quiet. I've gotten in the habit of turning everything off as often as I can. I never thought I'd be the sort of person that could be in a quiet room, alone with my thoughts and unafraid of where they'd take me, but here we are. In a quiet room. Thoughts just a goin'.
Every day feels like another new "thing" with Nora. I'm losing count. I actually got scared that I'd forget things because they're happening to quickly. I have to stop and count up the words she knows, now; ticking them off on my finger like a child. "Mama, Dada, out, off, up, this, that, giraffe, turtle, please...."
And I think about the words she knows, the sounds she can make, and it makes me giggle. She can "Argh" like a pirate and make just about any animal sound you throw at her. What do these words mean as a reflection of me as a parent?
When you meet new toddlers and the parents start parading them in front of you like little monkeys showing off their tricks, don't you sort of judge the kid and the parents on the things they can do? Just me? Not in a bad way, but it can really give an insight into parenting style. Nora, for instance, is exceedingly polite. She uses "please" all of the time and it's very sweet. But, my nephew, Seth, when he was this age could say pop culture phrases and bump your fist.
Nora blows kisses, but doesn't wave. Seth always waved, shouting, "bye" on his way from any room.
Seth never once picked up a toy and put it away. Nora always jumps up to help, because I'm always cleaning and it's something we can do together. I've never once cooked with a kid under the age of five, but I'm always allowing Nora to climb up and "help" by stirring, or sprinkling, or flipping. Because she's so patient and excited about being involved.
Sometimes Nora will say, or do, something that's a total reflection on me as a person. And it's scary. Because we don't always remember that everything we do teaches our child something. I've been rather lucky, so far, but I know that it will come back to haunt me.
The last couple days Nora has been soothing herself by rubbing her arm and whispering, "Shhh" when she's upset. While she's doing it, she heads in my direction for a hug. We cuddle and she pats my back, "shhing" me the whole time.
And sometimes, when I'm upset, or harsh, she "shh's" me, rubbing my leg, or arm, as if to say, "It's okay, Mom. Calm down. We'll get through this together."
Through it all, she's my kid. She's funny and energetic and so, so loving. It's all hugs and cuddles and kisses. She shares everything. I'm amazed with how lucky I am to have this chance to know this side of her. It will probably last only a short time before she is a full-on, screaming monster of a toddler, but I'm going to relish these days while I can.
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