Putting restrictions of socal media
Recently my cell phone went on the fritz and I was left without contact to the outside world for a few weeks. Well, not entirely because that's nearly impossible these days, but I had to work harder for it, resulting in me trying less. In the beginning I protested, frequently trying to get my phone to accommodate my desperate need to tweet, text and surf the net in those brief pockets between conversations with my toddler, but eventually found peace in letting it all go.
Once I was able to accept that I wasn't going to get phone calls, texts, or tweets updating me on what everyone else in my world was doing, I was able to just be in my life. Nora and I managed to find a groove that worked for us, even if she balked at not getting to send stickers to her Auntie's via Viber a thousand times a day and she was particularly angry we didn't have music anymore. In a lot of ways, Nora had more to adjust to than I did.
I'm not saying I'm some huge de-techno-lized (Nice word. Made it up.) convert, ready to throw my electronics into the river, but maybe I can see the benefit of taking a step back. Yes, being home with a two year old all day long without adult interaction is tough, but it's been done before. For ages. Maybe I should stop acting like such an entitled bitch and get over my 'hardships.'
Over the weekend I was able to swap my old phone for a phone of Adam's that he doesn't need. And, predictably, I've barely put the thing down in the last two days, but I can't say that I'm anymore improved, or satisfied with the state of things. While I've appreciated being able to check up on my friends and make plans for the week, the constant need to check into social media is creating some real self-hate. I didn't need it a week ago, so why am I compelled now?
There's a large part of me that resents social media. I can see the benefit of creating a global community, helping us feel more connected to the Unseen, but it also creates a compulsion to be "on" all the time. Witty, smart, educated, artistic and, through that, constantly validated and adored. Which is unrealistic, causing a lot of imbalance between reality and the dreamer. At least, it's that way for me. I find myself trying to find the magic "thing" that will get me recognition, add credence to this life that I'm living, so that I'm not pointless.
Which is a thought circle that only happens when I'm sucked into Twitter, Instagram, or Tumblr (I got rid of Facebook for similar reasons a while back.) It's hard to appreciate your life when you're constantly putting yourself out there without the feedback you think you deserve, or that you need, to fill a void. It's nonsense and insulting and I can't believe I fall for it.
Meanwhile, I'm concerned what that's teaching Nora, who watches Mama text and tweet and pic her way through the day. She's going to grow up inundated with enough media ideals of who and what she should be, without her primary (at this point) roll model demonstrating the herd mentality.
The question becomes "How to handle it," because once your being carried along by the wave of pop culture, it's hard to put your feet on the ground without falling into a hole, disconnected from everyone and everything. Because there's no other way, now, we've made it so that interacting through the internet is our only connection. Want to be invited to a party? You better hope you're friends on Facebook. (FYI, I haven't been invited to a party in over a year because I dropped Facebook. I knew it was going to happen, but shooting myself in the foot socially was the only option.) No one calls about pregnancy, births, weddings, deaths, etc. anymore. The personal touch has vanished.
So, we have to find a balance. A way to muddle through without becoming a slave to it. My best guess, at this point, is police myself like I would Nora, limiting the times I carry my phone on me, or spend surfing the web. It's perfectly normal that my brain is freaking out like a kid being told they have to eat only good stuff for the rest of their lives, right? No more media junk food? Ugh.
But...here we go anyway...
Once I was able to accept that I wasn't going to get phone calls, texts, or tweets updating me on what everyone else in my world was doing, I was able to just be in my life. Nora and I managed to find a groove that worked for us, even if she balked at not getting to send stickers to her Auntie's via Viber a thousand times a day and she was particularly angry we didn't have music anymore. In a lot of ways, Nora had more to adjust to than I did.
I'm not saying I'm some huge de-techno-lized (Nice word. Made it up.) convert, ready to throw my electronics into the river, but maybe I can see the benefit of taking a step back. Yes, being home with a two year old all day long without adult interaction is tough, but it's been done before. For ages. Maybe I should stop acting like such an entitled bitch and get over my 'hardships.'
Over the weekend I was able to swap my old phone for a phone of Adam's that he doesn't need. And, predictably, I've barely put the thing down in the last two days, but I can't say that I'm anymore improved, or satisfied with the state of things. While I've appreciated being able to check up on my friends and make plans for the week, the constant need to check into social media is creating some real self-hate. I didn't need it a week ago, so why am I compelled now?
There's a large part of me that resents social media. I can see the benefit of creating a global community, helping us feel more connected to the Unseen, but it also creates a compulsion to be "on" all the time. Witty, smart, educated, artistic and, through that, constantly validated and adored. Which is unrealistic, causing a lot of imbalance between reality and the dreamer. At least, it's that way for me. I find myself trying to find the magic "thing" that will get me recognition, add credence to this life that I'm living, so that I'm not pointless.
Which is a thought circle that only happens when I'm sucked into Twitter, Instagram, or Tumblr (I got rid of Facebook for similar reasons a while back.) It's hard to appreciate your life when you're constantly putting yourself out there without the feedback you think you deserve, or that you need, to fill a void. It's nonsense and insulting and I can't believe I fall for it.
Meanwhile, I'm concerned what that's teaching Nora, who watches Mama text and tweet and pic her way through the day. She's going to grow up inundated with enough media ideals of who and what she should be, without her primary (at this point) roll model demonstrating the herd mentality.
The question becomes "How to handle it," because once your being carried along by the wave of pop culture, it's hard to put your feet on the ground without falling into a hole, disconnected from everyone and everything. Because there's no other way, now, we've made it so that interacting through the internet is our only connection. Want to be invited to a party? You better hope you're friends on Facebook. (FYI, I haven't been invited to a party in over a year because I dropped Facebook. I knew it was going to happen, but shooting myself in the foot socially was the only option.) No one calls about pregnancy, births, weddings, deaths, etc. anymore. The personal touch has vanished.
So, we have to find a balance. A way to muddle through without becoming a slave to it. My best guess, at this point, is police myself like I would Nora, limiting the times I carry my phone on me, or spend surfing the web. It's perfectly normal that my brain is freaking out like a kid being told they have to eat only good stuff for the rest of their lives, right? No more media junk food? Ugh.
But...here we go anyway...
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