Too weak to finish this sentence....
I've tweeted about this, but since I've got just about nothing going on because of it, I'm going to blog about it, too. Lucky you, right?
A few weeks ago I started feeling occasionally weak. Nothing scary, but I'd get really tired after doing surprisingly little. Then, a couple of times, I got so light-headed and dizzy that I had to lie down to feel better. Now it's happening nearly every day. It's frustrating.
I see the doctor on Friday, but in the meantime I've been cleared to add an iron supplement and we'll go from there.
In addition to that I've got a stuffy/clogged ear. I'm not sure if it will go away on its own, or not. I may have to make a trip to my family doctor and have him clear that up. Fun. I love feeling like I'm incapable of taking care of my ears.
I took a risk and broached the subject of looking in to outside housing with Mom. It...didn't go well. I can't say that I'm surprised, but it was still a difficult conversation. No one wants to make their mom cry every time they speak with her, but that's what happens. I've got a nearly unblemished record. Go me.
There's nothing I love more than feeling like an ogre.
I thought that telling her that she'd be happier if she wasn't always getting asked to do things, follow rules that she doesn't believe in, would work. I though I could appeal to her sense of self-preservation, but I was wrong. Instead she took it like some huge rejection, like we hate her or that she's a horrible person. I tried, but she said that she couldn't explain to me how it made her feel because I'll never understand. She brought up the whole, "What are you going to do in thirty years when Adam's gone and I'm dead; how will you feel?" I'm not sure if she's asking me about guilt she thinks I'll have for wanting the two of us to live in separate homes, or when Nora doesn't want me living with her. I suppose she doesn't think I've thought this through.
It's all I think about. How do I make my relationship better with my mother? How can I give her a better quality of life? How can I make it so that I'll allow her to have a relationship with Nora?
I feel like I'm having the same conversation over and over again. I'm so tired of this rut. I may not know where she's coming from, but she doesn't try to understand where I'm coming from, either.
A few weeks ago I started feeling occasionally weak. Nothing scary, but I'd get really tired after doing surprisingly little. Then, a couple of times, I got so light-headed and dizzy that I had to lie down to feel better. Now it's happening nearly every day. It's frustrating.
I see the doctor on Friday, but in the meantime I've been cleared to add an iron supplement and we'll go from there.
In addition to that I've got a stuffy/clogged ear. I'm not sure if it will go away on its own, or not. I may have to make a trip to my family doctor and have him clear that up. Fun. I love feeling like I'm incapable of taking care of my ears.
I took a risk and broached the subject of looking in to outside housing with Mom. It...didn't go well. I can't say that I'm surprised, but it was still a difficult conversation. No one wants to make their mom cry every time they speak with her, but that's what happens. I've got a nearly unblemished record. Go me.
There's nothing I love more than feeling like an ogre.
I thought that telling her that she'd be happier if she wasn't always getting asked to do things, follow rules that she doesn't believe in, would work. I though I could appeal to her sense of self-preservation, but I was wrong. Instead she took it like some huge rejection, like we hate her or that she's a horrible person. I tried, but she said that she couldn't explain to me how it made her feel because I'll never understand. She brought up the whole, "What are you going to do in thirty years when Adam's gone and I'm dead; how will you feel?" I'm not sure if she's asking me about guilt she thinks I'll have for wanting the two of us to live in separate homes, or when Nora doesn't want me living with her. I suppose she doesn't think I've thought this through.
It's all I think about. How do I make my relationship better with my mother? How can I give her a better quality of life? How can I make it so that I'll allow her to have a relationship with Nora?
I feel like I'm having the same conversation over and over again. I'm so tired of this rut. I may not know where she's coming from, but she doesn't try to understand where I'm coming from, either.
Comments
thinking about you.
As for hypoglycemia...I have issues with it normally, so I tend to be a grazer by nature. I eat five to six times a day, usually small meals/snacks. I'm going to be tested for gestational diabetes next week. I'm hoping to be able to get that done on Monday, but it will depend on the availability of the car/Adam's schedule. I'm not looking forward to doing it by myself. Last time I got so sick I regretted doing it alone.
You rock. I just hope that you can deal with the amount of bitching that's going to come from this never-ending situation with my mom.