Recap and Moving on
I should have updated this more regularly. So much has happened that there doesn't seem to be a point to backing up. Suffice it to say, we made it through the holidays like Grieving Rock Stars.
We brought in the New Year in our very lazy tradition. We watched the Twilight Zone marathon and went to bed. My dog, Hermione, has developed nervous issues over the fireworks and between three days of fireworks surrounding Christmas and then New Year's Eve, well, she was thisclose to a heart attack. The three of us spent the night huddled under the covers while Hermione shook. I need to find a better way to handle what I now recognize to be an ongoing emotional problem for her.
I am developing an issue with my brother-in-law's in-laws. They are nice people, but they have managed to make assumptions about me and Adam that don't favor us at all. Their attitude is starting to seep in to the amount of time we are allowed to have with Phoenix and Lillian. I am hoping that I am being paranoid, but there are some definite signs.
The funniest (sad) part is that they don't even know that our daughter died, so they aren't treating us like we should stay away from our niece and nephew because we have a dead baby, they just don't like us. It is a riot.
My friend Charlotte turned 30 at the very end of December. There was a blow-out for her on Saturday night. Adam got to drink and have fun. I was Designated Driver and didn't have anything other than soda. (I bet you thought I couldn't do that!) The whole night was a lot of fun. We got to be out and be social. We all sang and danced and played video games. Drunken! video games, which was WAY funnier.
The next morning we slowly greeted the day. I let Adam sleep in. I iced his traditional carrot cake. See, I am a good wife! I just didn't decorate it this year.
That afternoon was our niece's birthday party. She turned 3. It was so good to see her and Phoenix, even with the weirdness with the future sister-in-law's parents being wickedly unfair to me and Adam. (When the present picture was taken they hid our presents from view, so it would look like we didn't get her anything, you know, years from now.)
In other news, my brother, his fiancee and their three kids are one step closer to moving out here. I am starting to panic about it, just a little. Originally they would only be here three months, but with them shifting the time table forward, well, that means that it will take them longer to move out. My original plan for moving all of the rooms around, but leaving Mazzy's room intact may not work. In fact, I know that it won't work, but I am not sure how to convince Adam to juggle so that we move in to Mazzy's room and giving Jamen and Meghan our bedroom. (The kids are going in to the room that is currently our office. I am moving the office to the dining room and dismantling the dining room table.) I was going to have Jamen and Meghan just sleep in the downstairs living room, but my brother is being a b it of a douche about not having any privacy. Being the complete moron that I am, I am going to approach Adam about moving in to Mazzy's room. Even though I know that he is going to say No. And it is going to cause a fight. And I am going to cry.
Thank goodness I am PMSing. That will make the fight that much more enjoyable and the crying that much easier.
Balls.
If my mom could make it up and down the stairs we could just offer the master to the whole family and they could stay downstairs, using the largest room and closet and bathroom for the family of five. It isn't going to happen, though.
I am realizing that I am getting in over my head, again.
The stupid thing is that I know that people are livid that we are doing this. They are all hoping that Adam and I will get lonely and have another baby. There just won't be a place to put a baby when my brother and his family moves in. On top of that, they will be here for a year. I am already 32 years old. It is like that I have a whole extra year to make a decision like that. So.....people are already developing resentment over this. Which is really stupid because it isn't like Adam and were planning on having a baby, they were just hoping. And all of their wildly inappropriate dreams will be crushed.
Also, I am fighting with my mom all of the time. Despite having high hopes for 2010, I am starting to suspect that it is going to blow.
At least I can be comforted by the fact that I know that I am stronger and hope that it will be enough to get me through the next phase in my life.
We brought in the New Year in our very lazy tradition. We watched the Twilight Zone marathon and went to bed. My dog, Hermione, has developed nervous issues over the fireworks and between three days of fireworks surrounding Christmas and then New Year's Eve, well, she was thisclose to a heart attack. The three of us spent the night huddled under the covers while Hermione shook. I need to find a better way to handle what I now recognize to be an ongoing emotional problem for her.
I am developing an issue with my brother-in-law's in-laws. They are nice people, but they have managed to make assumptions about me and Adam that don't favor us at all. Their attitude is starting to seep in to the amount of time we are allowed to have with Phoenix and Lillian. I am hoping that I am being paranoid, but there are some definite signs.
The funniest (sad) part is that they don't even know that our daughter died, so they aren't treating us like we should stay away from our niece and nephew because we have a dead baby, they just don't like us. It is a riot.
My friend Charlotte turned 30 at the very end of December. There was a blow-out for her on Saturday night. Adam got to drink and have fun. I was Designated Driver and didn't have anything other than soda. (I bet you thought I couldn't do that!) The whole night was a lot of fun. We got to be out and be social. We all sang and danced and played video games. Drunken! video games, which was WAY funnier.
The next morning we slowly greeted the day. I let Adam sleep in. I iced his traditional carrot cake. See, I am a good wife! I just didn't decorate it this year.
That afternoon was our niece's birthday party. She turned 3. It was so good to see her and Phoenix, even with the weirdness with the future sister-in-law's parents being wickedly unfair to me and Adam. (When the present picture was taken they hid our presents from view, so it would look like we didn't get her anything, you know, years from now.)
In other news, my brother, his fiancee and their three kids are one step closer to moving out here. I am starting to panic about it, just a little. Originally they would only be here three months, but with them shifting the time table forward, well, that means that it will take them longer to move out. My original plan for moving all of the rooms around, but leaving Mazzy's room intact may not work. In fact, I know that it won't work, but I am not sure how to convince Adam to juggle so that we move in to Mazzy's room and giving Jamen and Meghan our bedroom. (The kids are going in to the room that is currently our office. I am moving the office to the dining room and dismantling the dining room table.) I was going to have Jamen and Meghan just sleep in the downstairs living room, but my brother is being a b it of a douche about not having any privacy. Being the complete moron that I am, I am going to approach Adam about moving in to Mazzy's room. Even though I know that he is going to say No. And it is going to cause a fight. And I am going to cry.
Thank goodness I am PMSing. That will make the fight that much more enjoyable and the crying that much easier.
Balls.
If my mom could make it up and down the stairs we could just offer the master to the whole family and they could stay downstairs, using the largest room and closet and bathroom for the family of five. It isn't going to happen, though.
I am realizing that I am getting in over my head, again.
The stupid thing is that I know that people are livid that we are doing this. They are all hoping that Adam and I will get lonely and have another baby. There just won't be a place to put a baby when my brother and his family moves in. On top of that, they will be here for a year. I am already 32 years old. It is like that I have a whole extra year to make a decision like that. So.....people are already developing resentment over this. Which is really stupid because it isn't like Adam and were planning on having a baby, they were just hoping. And all of their wildly inappropriate dreams will be crushed.
Also, I am fighting with my mom all of the time. Despite having high hopes for 2010, I am starting to suspect that it is going to blow.
At least I can be comforted by the fact that I know that I am stronger and hope that it will be enough to get me through the next phase in my life.
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