There's always drama....
I haven't written much because I was seriously trying to process what's been going on in my life without freaking out all over the place like a Drama Queen. Trust me, it was touch and go for a while there.
My sister-in-law and her Baby Daddy, Brian, have been on and off since before Seth was born and about two weeks ago, things finally came to a head. Unfortunately, when it hit the fan, Brian was in possession of Seth and now we have no idea where he is. We're pursuing all legal avenues, but it's a slow process and very disheartening. It isn't kidnapping, since Brian is on the birth certificate, but it's felt like it.
There's been a difficulty in keeping the lines from being blurred. Fear and loss is still pretty powerful, even if Seth isn't ours. He's our nephew and a huge part of our healing, and now he's just gone.
I know that he's alive and I know that, eventually, all of the paperwork and lawyers and all of that will do their thing and we'll get to see him again, but the blank spot where's been every week for the past year is rough. It's not something I want to be feeling right now, when I'm supposed to have found peace and relieve myself of stress so that we can make a baby.
At the end of this month I'm expecting visits from family. First from my cousin and her two kids and then from my dad and his wife. Somewhere in all of this Mom might be going out of town, if we can convince her to do it. We'll see.
And every day inches us closer to needing outside help to make a baby.
We're waiting on my test results from my last test. I hope that they call me, soon, with something I can work with so that I know if I failed the levels. I have a feeling that I did and if I'm right, well, I actually need something for this month to have a chance to be viable and ....
It's always something.
My sister-in-law and her Baby Daddy, Brian, have been on and off since before Seth was born and about two weeks ago, things finally came to a head. Unfortunately, when it hit the fan, Brian was in possession of Seth and now we have no idea where he is. We're pursuing all legal avenues, but it's a slow process and very disheartening. It isn't kidnapping, since Brian is on the birth certificate, but it's felt like it.
There's been a difficulty in keeping the lines from being blurred. Fear and loss is still pretty powerful, even if Seth isn't ours. He's our nephew and a huge part of our healing, and now he's just gone.
I know that he's alive and I know that, eventually, all of the paperwork and lawyers and all of that will do their thing and we'll get to see him again, but the blank spot where's been every week for the past year is rough. It's not something I want to be feeling right now, when I'm supposed to have found peace and relieve myself of stress so that we can make a baby.
At the end of this month I'm expecting visits from family. First from my cousin and her two kids and then from my dad and his wife. Somewhere in all of this Mom might be going out of town, if we can convince her to do it. We'll see.
And every day inches us closer to needing outside help to make a baby.
We're waiting on my test results from my last test. I hope that they call me, soon, with something I can work with so that I know if I failed the levels. I have a feeling that I did and if I'm right, well, I actually need something for this month to have a chance to be viable and ....
It's always something.
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