There's a light rain
The last few days has been cold and wet. I'm getting tired of the inconsistent weather. I'd like to walk to the mailbox once in a while. (We have a community mailbox that's located at the end of our street. It takes a bit to get there.)
So, completely unrelated to anything serious, I'd like to encourage you to check out my friend, Sara's, artsy-cute-fun Monsters with Sammiches Cafe Press Shop. She's a quirky, imaginative little artist and her monsters always bring a smile to my face. I'm hoping to get my hands on some of the cute stuff, soon. She was nice enough to draw me my own monster a while back to inspire me to write more and it's come to my aide often. Check her out.
In case you're wondering, the mom thing is going to be ongoing for a while. I've managed to not freak out on her, but there's tension building. I'm not sympathetic enough for her and she's pouting. I want to smother her with a pillow for expecting me to make her emotional state better over this fiasco.
You know, the usual.
Mazzy's birthday was on Friday. I'm still not sure what to do with that. Like, other mom's get to tell Facebook or Twitter, forcefully reminding them that their life changed 1, 2, 3, etc. years ago and it's beautiful. I have to hide it, like a dark secret. Mazzy's birthday rolls around and suddenly it's the 1950's and I was sent to Fallen Woman shelter and forced to give my baby up for adoption. All of the memories, none of the open pride.
This year gave me a little boost, though. Pomegranate Pretty's best friend gave birth to two healthy baby girls on January 21st and suddenly it wasn't *just* Mazzy's birthday to me, it was their birthday, too. I'm that kind of person. I need that perspective once in a while. I'm much more likely to push my bullshit aside when there's another person, or persons, that need joy and positivity from me.
These little things that happen that take away the pressure of my grief and my healing are helping so much. Life is happening and I'm so glad for that.
I'm looking forward to the energy pop that happens during the second trimester. I feel like I've been half-asleep since November.
So, completely unrelated to anything serious, I'd like to encourage you to check out my friend, Sara's, artsy-cute-fun Monsters with Sammiches Cafe Press Shop. She's a quirky, imaginative little artist and her monsters always bring a smile to my face. I'm hoping to get my hands on some of the cute stuff, soon. She was nice enough to draw me my own monster a while back to inspire me to write more and it's come to my aide often. Check her out.
In case you're wondering, the mom thing is going to be ongoing for a while. I've managed to not freak out on her, but there's tension building. I'm not sympathetic enough for her and she's pouting. I want to smother her with a pillow for expecting me to make her emotional state better over this fiasco.
You know, the usual.
Mazzy's birthday was on Friday. I'm still not sure what to do with that. Like, other mom's get to tell Facebook or Twitter, forcefully reminding them that their life changed 1, 2, 3, etc. years ago and it's beautiful. I have to hide it, like a dark secret. Mazzy's birthday rolls around and suddenly it's the 1950's and I was sent to Fallen Woman shelter and forced to give my baby up for adoption. All of the memories, none of the open pride.
This year gave me a little boost, though. Pomegranate Pretty's best friend gave birth to two healthy baby girls on January 21st and suddenly it wasn't *just* Mazzy's birthday to me, it was their birthday, too. I'm that kind of person. I need that perspective once in a while. I'm much more likely to push my bullshit aside when there's another person, or persons, that need joy and positivity from me.
These little things that happen that take away the pressure of my grief and my healing are helping so much. Life is happening and I'm so glad for that.
I'm looking forward to the energy pop that happens during the second trimester. I feel like I've been half-asleep since November.
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