Matters of the Heart
First things first - the cardiologist wasn't able to tell me much, except that I need to run some more tests. I had a magnificent EKG, like a 24 year old woman. That's good news for me considering heart disease is a huge factor in early death on my mom's side. While in the office they confirmed that my blood pressure is in the toilet. It was around 90/70 while sitting/resting. If I'm lying down it goes up to about 104/71, but when I stand it dropped to 86/61. It's not dangerous, but it's bothersome. My brain just won't let go of the idea that it's this low and I'm taking Sudafed to raise my blood pressure. What was it before I started taking the medicine?!
Because I have family history and they want to rule out any really dangerous situations during/after delivery, I was hooked up to a 24 hour holter monitor. I went back the next day and got a 30 day event monitor, which I'm to activate when I feel like fainting. Since I only had a few times when I felt that bad and I haven't had a repeat since starting Sudafed, I don't expect to use it much.
I'm scheduled to have an echocardiogram in a few weeks. Hopefully the combination of all of this information will result in them telling me that I'm fine, just suffering from low blood pressure due to being pregnant and low iron count.
My OB nurse called with my blood work and I'm clean. I don't have gestational diabetes, or a thyroid issue or anything. It's great. My iron count was 11, which is pretty low, and I'm holding on to anemia being the culprit behind all of my problems. It just takes ages to recover fully from anemia and I might be feeling this way long after Nora is born.
Luckily I don't have the time to be concerned about my heart because things with Mom finally hit a head. I had repeatedly tried talking to her about our concerns about her health, her weird behavior, but to no avail. I finally followed through on my promise and wrote her psychiatrist asking for his assistance. I was hoping that he could confirm or debunk behavior changes in correlation to her medication. What ended up happening was unpleasant.
During her visit on Wednesday her doctor called me back so that three of us could discuss what had me worried and see if we could come up with a solution to get it addressed. Mom was livid, which is understandable, but it had to be done. At least I know that her forgetfulness and slightly erratic behavior isn't a side effect of her medicine. He recommended that I start giving Mom her medication every day. She LOVED that, as I'm sure that you could imagine. He also suggested that we set her up with a neurology appointment.
I'm currently digging around for a neurologist in the area that takes Medicaid. Actually, I'm going to have to confirm that she has Medicaid. I think it's that, since she's on disability, but I'm so bad about available social services.
I set up another appointment with her psychiatrist in three weeks, but she's claiming she won't go. We'll see what happens when the day comes.
The ride home was tense and life in the house is unpleasant. She's accusing me of trying to have her locked up, which is only slightly ridiculous. (Ha.) Mom cried and wailed, calling me all kinds of names, trying to scare me in to backing down, but I have no choice. There may be something wrong that we need to fix, or they will diagnose her with something that will change how we all interact. I'd much rather work this all out while pregnant, than trying to figure it out with an infant. It's not my dream situation by any stretch of the imagination.
Typically Mom has been hurt and is lashing out. I can't expect anything less of her. I would hate to be in her shoes, 55 and being 'bossed' by her daughter. I'm trying to reassure her that this is all temporary and that as soon as we know what is going on she can gloat and go back to being her own boss. It's not really working. She's paranoid and convinced that I'm out to get her.
I'm still processing what all of this means. I know that it had to be done, but, man, I'd rather hide my head in the sand and just wait for it to all go away. Unfortunately that isn't going to get us anywhere. This situation needs a strong leader and since she's my mom, it's my job.
Adam has been great. He's not looking forward to the fallout and, of course, this means that we can't ask her to leave because it's obvious she's not going to take care of herself, so he's grumpy. I'm okay with that. I spent years being pissy about Wayne and he's got every right to cuss and pout over this. At least I'm not going to get offended when he bitches about her. I get it. She drives me nuts, too.
My other stress comes from the fact that we're going to be bleeding money for a while. They are going to want money for these tests and Mom is broke until her next check, so we have to buy her meds this month and pay whatever co-pays for doctor visits. This means we're going to have to put off buying anything for the baby. Again.
It's okay, though. I've made my peace with that, too. We wanted new bedding and a new car seat and a new monitor that measures breathing, but we can live without it. I can wait on a new stroller (the other one broke) and playpen for a while. It's just stuff. We still have Mazzy's car seat, so we'll be able to bring Nora home from the hospital. That's all that matters. And I have a Moses basket. It's fine.
Yes, I totally pouted yesterday, hiding from everything and I'm still drenched in gloom, but I have to believe it will pass. I'm not a negative person (anymore) and I will find the strength to get through this.
Oh! and the freaking hospital is a nightmare to register with this time. The online link is broken and my phone calls are being ignored. Adam and I are going to have to pre-register in person on Monday. What a pain in the ass. I know that we have time, but since I started having trouble with pre-term labor at thirty weeks last time I want to be prepared. I'll be 25 weeks tomorrow and I have to feel like I've done something right by this baby. I feel so behind on everything else. It makes me cry.
I want to be less Doom and Gloom and I will get there. I just don't know how.
Because I have family history and they want to rule out any really dangerous situations during/after delivery, I was hooked up to a 24 hour holter monitor. I went back the next day and got a 30 day event monitor, which I'm to activate when I feel like fainting. Since I only had a few times when I felt that bad and I haven't had a repeat since starting Sudafed, I don't expect to use it much.
I'm scheduled to have an echocardiogram in a few weeks. Hopefully the combination of all of this information will result in them telling me that I'm fine, just suffering from low blood pressure due to being pregnant and low iron count.
My OB nurse called with my blood work and I'm clean. I don't have gestational diabetes, or a thyroid issue or anything. It's great. My iron count was 11, which is pretty low, and I'm holding on to anemia being the culprit behind all of my problems. It just takes ages to recover fully from anemia and I might be feeling this way long after Nora is born.
Luckily I don't have the time to be concerned about my heart because things with Mom finally hit a head. I had repeatedly tried talking to her about our concerns about her health, her weird behavior, but to no avail. I finally followed through on my promise and wrote her psychiatrist asking for his assistance. I was hoping that he could confirm or debunk behavior changes in correlation to her medication. What ended up happening was unpleasant.
During her visit on Wednesday her doctor called me back so that three of us could discuss what had me worried and see if we could come up with a solution to get it addressed. Mom was livid, which is understandable, but it had to be done. At least I know that her forgetfulness and slightly erratic behavior isn't a side effect of her medicine. He recommended that I start giving Mom her medication every day. She LOVED that, as I'm sure that you could imagine. He also suggested that we set her up with a neurology appointment.
I'm currently digging around for a neurologist in the area that takes Medicaid. Actually, I'm going to have to confirm that she has Medicaid. I think it's that, since she's on disability, but I'm so bad about available social services.
I set up another appointment with her psychiatrist in three weeks, but she's claiming she won't go. We'll see what happens when the day comes.
The ride home was tense and life in the house is unpleasant. She's accusing me of trying to have her locked up, which is only slightly ridiculous. (Ha.) Mom cried and wailed, calling me all kinds of names, trying to scare me in to backing down, but I have no choice. There may be something wrong that we need to fix, or they will diagnose her with something that will change how we all interact. I'd much rather work this all out while pregnant, than trying to figure it out with an infant. It's not my dream situation by any stretch of the imagination.
Typically Mom has been hurt and is lashing out. I can't expect anything less of her. I would hate to be in her shoes, 55 and being 'bossed' by her daughter. I'm trying to reassure her that this is all temporary and that as soon as we know what is going on she can gloat and go back to being her own boss. It's not really working. She's paranoid and convinced that I'm out to get her.
I'm still processing what all of this means. I know that it had to be done, but, man, I'd rather hide my head in the sand and just wait for it to all go away. Unfortunately that isn't going to get us anywhere. This situation needs a strong leader and since she's my mom, it's my job.
Adam has been great. He's not looking forward to the fallout and, of course, this means that we can't ask her to leave because it's obvious she's not going to take care of herself, so he's grumpy. I'm okay with that. I spent years being pissy about Wayne and he's got every right to cuss and pout over this. At least I'm not going to get offended when he bitches about her. I get it. She drives me nuts, too.
My other stress comes from the fact that we're going to be bleeding money for a while. They are going to want money for these tests and Mom is broke until her next check, so we have to buy her meds this month and pay whatever co-pays for doctor visits. This means we're going to have to put off buying anything for the baby. Again.
It's okay, though. I've made my peace with that, too. We wanted new bedding and a new car seat and a new monitor that measures breathing, but we can live without it. I can wait on a new stroller (the other one broke) and playpen for a while. It's just stuff. We still have Mazzy's car seat, so we'll be able to bring Nora home from the hospital. That's all that matters. And I have a Moses basket. It's fine.
Yes, I totally pouted yesterday, hiding from everything and I'm still drenched in gloom, but I have to believe it will pass. I'm not a negative person (anymore) and I will find the strength to get through this.
Oh! and the freaking hospital is a nightmare to register with this time. The online link is broken and my phone calls are being ignored. Adam and I are going to have to pre-register in person on Monday. What a pain in the ass. I know that we have time, but since I started having trouble with pre-term labor at thirty weeks last time I want to be prepared. I'll be 25 weeks tomorrow and I have to feel like I've done something right by this baby. I feel so behind on everything else. It makes me cry.
I want to be less Doom and Gloom and I will get there. I just don't know how.
Comments
Did you tell me where you are.registered?!!
Xoxoxoxo