The Spaces Between
My plan to take pictures at Phoenix's birthday party failed. I have an excuse - I was simply too weak.
Sunday morning I woke up totally wiped. Even after taking my Sudafed I was light-headed and feeling like I was going to pass out. I guess some days are just bad. Who knows?
Adam and I argued before leaving because he didn't want me to go at all. I promised to just sit. A lot. I was going to be sitting if I stayed home, so I didn't see the difference. He finally gave in and I was able to make an appearance at the party.
This is where I get to say that I love my niece and nephew and I'm thrilled I was able to get their hugs and kisses. It was totally worth the entirely too awkward conversation between my sister-in-law, her mother, and two of her friends. I'd walk through fire to make sure that these kids know that I love them, and sitting through this party was my trial by fire.
Adam, lucky bastard that he is, got to run around in the backyard and throw water balloons. I would have loved to be able to do that. My favorite thing is to chase them and make them laugh. They never seem to laugh enough.
It breaks my heart. Phoenix is six and Lily is four and they should laugh all of the time. I almost never hear them laugh. Life has been too hard for them and I feel like it's up to us, the adults in their lives, to teach them to enjoy the life they have. I'm sure their brains are serious enough for them as it is, right?
There is no update on my health, yet. I do see the OB on Friday, but I don't think there will be much revealed. I'm going to get weighed, my fundus measured and maybe we'll get to hear the heartbeat. Oh! They'll check my blood pressure and I can find out if the Sudafed is working, still.
I've been feeling worse, instead of better, but I'm not giving up, yet. I've got time to get through this and I will.
Also on Friday is a trip to the bakery to order the cake balls for the baby shower. Here's where I admit that I'm feeling weird about the baby shower. I'm learning that a lot of the people that I invited won't be there. I knew I shouldn't have a baby shower. I'll deal, though. I know that Val, Charlotte, and Jenn are working hard to make this fun and great and I'm not going to let myself freak out and pre-ruin the whole thing.
Sunday morning I woke up totally wiped. Even after taking my Sudafed I was light-headed and feeling like I was going to pass out. I guess some days are just bad. Who knows?
Adam and I argued before leaving because he didn't want me to go at all. I promised to just sit. A lot. I was going to be sitting if I stayed home, so I didn't see the difference. He finally gave in and I was able to make an appearance at the party.
This is where I get to say that I love my niece and nephew and I'm thrilled I was able to get their hugs and kisses. It was totally worth the entirely too awkward conversation between my sister-in-law, her mother, and two of her friends. I'd walk through fire to make sure that these kids know that I love them, and sitting through this party was my trial by fire.
Adam, lucky bastard that he is, got to run around in the backyard and throw water balloons. I would have loved to be able to do that. My favorite thing is to chase them and make them laugh. They never seem to laugh enough.
It breaks my heart. Phoenix is six and Lily is four and they should laugh all of the time. I almost never hear them laugh. Life has been too hard for them and I feel like it's up to us, the adults in their lives, to teach them to enjoy the life they have. I'm sure their brains are serious enough for them as it is, right?
There is no update on my health, yet. I do see the OB on Friday, but I don't think there will be much revealed. I'm going to get weighed, my fundus measured and maybe we'll get to hear the heartbeat. Oh! They'll check my blood pressure and I can find out if the Sudafed is working, still.
I've been feeling worse, instead of better, but I'm not giving up, yet. I've got time to get through this and I will.
Also on Friday is a trip to the bakery to order the cake balls for the baby shower. Here's where I admit that I'm feeling weird about the baby shower. I'm learning that a lot of the people that I invited won't be there. I knew I shouldn't have a baby shower. I'll deal, though. I know that Val, Charlotte, and Jenn are working hard to make this fun and great and I'm not going to let myself freak out and pre-ruin the whole thing.
Comments
I'm trying not to worry, but it's my nature, you know? LOL I just have to have faith that it's all going to be people that have happy thoughts for us and that will be enough. We ordered the cake balls today, so that's something that's been accomplished.