And I want to write it all down

I can't stop being amazed by my daughter. Yes, she's developing her Toddler Personality and pushing at boundaries, but that's less problematic than I thought it would be at this age. I laugh way more than I thought I could.

Yesterday we played tea party and, for the first time, it was more than Nora banging two cups together and thrusting plastic pastries in my face. Nora took the time to pour into my cup and hand it to me. She waited for me to drink before offering me a plate with a pastry on it. She smiled when I said "please" and "thank you." We had a lovely time.

Nora likes to walk around the house in the afternoons. We take our time and she touches everything. I name things she points to and she smiles. It's nice to be appreciated for doing so little. I'm enjoying it while I can. I know that she won't always be this easy to please.

The weather is cooling down and the ghost of my ball of anxiety is swirling and flipping in my stomach. It's not the "in my bones" dread that I felt when Nora was a baby, but I still find myself staring too hard at Nora and thinking "I really, really like her. I don't want to know what it feels like to lose her. Please. Please. Please." I've had the thought often enough that I've started to whisper "please" over and over again.

Mostly, though, it's good days and laughter.