Trial by Fire
I feel like I have been crying for two days.
I have washed, folded, and packed away every stitch of Mazzy's clothing. I still have three loads of baby blankets to wash and put in bins today. There are four ten gallon plastic bins with just baby clothes. I have one see-through zipper bag full of shoes, socks, and hats.
I wasn't ready for this. I am not in a place where I am comfortable putting her things away, but life doesn't wait for me to be ready for anything. It just pushes me forward and I have to suck it up and get through it. I couldn't just leave her things out, open to elements and vermin.
Like an idiot, I am using the rest of the baby laundry detergent that we never threw out, so everything smells like fresh baby. I just couldn't use harsh laundry soap on her clothes.
Do you have any idea how many onesies Mazzy had with "princess" printed on them? Me either. I gave up counting after twenty-eight.
Hermione has been losing her mind. I have a pile of baby blankets on the floor right outside Mazzy's room. Hermione keeps bringing toys to the pile of blankets, nudging them, as though Mazzy will crawl out from underneath the soft lump and play with her. At one point yesterday Hermione crawled on top of the blankets and guarded the door. Any time I walked past to get in to Mazzy's room to clean, or fold clothes, Hermione would growl at me.
When I am sitting in the closet, crying, Hermione wimpers, walking around the bedroom sniffing things. She keeps putting her paws on the side of the crib, anxiously looking between the bars, like she knows what would help, but she just can't find the solution.
It's okay, Hermione, I don't know what to do, either...
I have washed, folded, and packed away every stitch of Mazzy's clothing. I still have three loads of baby blankets to wash and put in bins today. There are four ten gallon plastic bins with just baby clothes. I have one see-through zipper bag full of shoes, socks, and hats.
I wasn't ready for this. I am not in a place where I am comfortable putting her things away, but life doesn't wait for me to be ready for anything. It just pushes me forward and I have to suck it up and get through it. I couldn't just leave her things out, open to elements and vermin.
Like an idiot, I am using the rest of the baby laundry detergent that we never threw out, so everything smells like fresh baby. I just couldn't use harsh laundry soap on her clothes.
Do you have any idea how many onesies Mazzy had with "princess" printed on them? Me either. I gave up counting after twenty-eight.
Hermione has been losing her mind. I have a pile of baby blankets on the floor right outside Mazzy's room. Hermione keeps bringing toys to the pile of blankets, nudging them, as though Mazzy will crawl out from underneath the soft lump and play with her. At one point yesterday Hermione crawled on top of the blankets and guarded the door. Any time I walked past to get in to Mazzy's room to clean, or fold clothes, Hermione would growl at me.
When I am sitting in the closet, crying, Hermione wimpers, walking around the bedroom sniffing things. She keeps putting her paws on the side of the crib, anxiously looking between the bars, like she knows what would help, but she just can't find the solution.
It's okay, Hermione, I don't know what to do, either...
Comments
Kimberly