Hey there, Sunshine
Back when I was pregnant I was concerned that I was going to be living each moment of the first year like it was going to be Nora's last day, but not in a good way. I feared that I would be overly attentive, a hindrance to my daughter's growth, but I find myself simply okay.
Now, I don't give me a whole lot of credit for this mature ability. I give Nora all of the props for that. She is so full of joy and life that I find myself smiling, or laughing, more than I thought possible. It's even funnier because in the beginning, those first few weeks of her life, Nora was so difficult and I was a mess. I couldn't visualize this place. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't get all of the stuff "right" with Nora. We don't have a decent schedule and, more nights than not, we end up snuggled on the couch at two in the morning instead of in our own beds. But I don't care. Sure, I make the effort because I know, eventually, she'll have to do all of this on her own, but I know that I have time.
Marvel at that - I feel like I have time with my daughter. I thought that I'd start looking at every day closer to ten and a half months as a Death Clock Counter, of sorts, but I don't.
And, even if she were to die, I know that I won't have regrets. We play and laugh and snuggle and it's so beautiful.
In other news, I'm adding color to my life. Color and inspiration. I'm going to be 35 this year and I want things to be different. That takes work. And creativity.
Now, I don't give me a whole lot of credit for this mature ability. I give Nora all of the props for that. She is so full of joy and life that I find myself smiling, or laughing, more than I thought possible. It's even funnier because in the beginning, those first few weeks of her life, Nora was so difficult and I was a mess. I couldn't visualize this place. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't get all of the stuff "right" with Nora. We don't have a decent schedule and, more nights than not, we end up snuggled on the couch at two in the morning instead of in our own beds. But I don't care. Sure, I make the effort because I know, eventually, she'll have to do all of this on her own, but I know that I have time.
Marvel at that - I feel like I have time with my daughter. I thought that I'd start looking at every day closer to ten and a half months as a Death Clock Counter, of sorts, but I don't.
And, even if she were to die, I know that I won't have regrets. We play and laugh and snuggle and it's so beautiful.
In other news, I'm adding color to my life. Color and inspiration. I'm going to be 35 this year and I want things to be different. That takes work. And creativity.
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