I'm nothing if not predictable
My sweet girl started school this week. I'm exhausted in ways I didn't think possible considering I've had an infant and this is nothing like that. I get up early to do the whole "Good Mom" thing and, while I manage to get up in the morning, staying mobile and doing all the things all day long isn't something I relish. I like the idea of naps. Mostly I like complaining about not getting a nap, even though I totally had the time to take a nap and just didn't because WHAT IF SOMEONE FOUND OUT I WAS NAPPING? Would I lose my "Good Mom" card? Would it be validating this stereotype that Stay At Home Moms are lazy and never do anything?
So, instead of taking a nap I'm writing. Which is a thing I wanted to be doing with my free time anyway, so yay me.
First week of school and I've already been watching other people's children. Obviously I'm insane and I need to rethink my priorities because I've hours of television that I've missed out on in the last five years when I was bringing up my precious tyrant of a child who struggles with the concept of Alone Time because, OMG why wouldn't you want to talk constantly and play ponies? That's the BEST THING EVER!!!!!
I've gotten my paper and pencils out and I'm rough-drafting the New World Order of life. Things I want to Do with Myself. It's mostly blank. Except for the title because that was the easy part. Jeez, get your shit together, Chessy.
I spent years and years and years daydreaming about what I was going to do with myself once Nora was in school and I wasn't doing stuff for the family all the time. So far all I managed was to pluck my eyebrows and say "yes" to babysitting because "I don't have anything going on."
Have you ever done that to yourself? Get the thing you want and then completely crap out at making the best of it?
I'm not going to beat myself up about it. It's only been four days and there are months ahead where I can be Amazing....at something.
Okay, top of the list: Be good to myself, even though I don't have Grand Plans.
Yet.
So, instead of taking a nap I'm writing. Which is a thing I wanted to be doing with my free time anyway, so yay me.
First week of school and I've already been watching other people's children. Obviously I'm insane and I need to rethink my priorities because I've hours of television that I've missed out on in the last five years when I was bringing up my precious tyrant of a child who struggles with the concept of Alone Time because, OMG why wouldn't you want to talk constantly and play ponies? That's the BEST THING EVER!!!!!
I've gotten my paper and pencils out and I'm rough-drafting the New World Order of life. Things I want to Do with Myself. It's mostly blank. Except for the title because that was the easy part. Jeez, get your shit together, Chessy.
I spent years and years and years daydreaming about what I was going to do with myself once Nora was in school and I wasn't doing stuff for the family all the time. So far all I managed was to pluck my eyebrows and say "yes" to babysitting because "I don't have anything going on."
Have you ever done that to yourself? Get the thing you want and then completely crap out at making the best of it?
I'm not going to beat myself up about it. It's only been four days and there are months ahead where I can be Amazing....at something.
Okay, top of the list: Be good to myself, even though I don't have Grand Plans.
Yet.
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