Common

I put a sundress on yesterday. Yes, I am aware that it is February, but I live in Texas, so appropriate weather is a little variable. At any rate, I felt good. It was a little like having myself back, but like, from before. Before marriage. Before motherhood. Before Mazzy’s death. I was a barefoot, sundress wearing, semi-free spirit in my younger days. I loved wearing as little as possible in public, but not half-dressed. Does that make sense? It was the idea of just pulling a sundress on and nothing else.

Except, this time, I wore underpants. Ah, maturity.

I fiddled in the yard yesterday. I have these new gardening gloves to help me pull weeds. We have some landscaping in the front yard that we perpetually ignore. It is stupid. I don’t care what people driving by think when they pass my house. I want to make people think that we are poor. I don’t want anyone tempted to break in and steal stuff.

Well, unless it is my mother. Do you want her? She is available.

I kid.

Sort of.

Val brought her crochet book over. We drooled over patterns. I even made Adam set up my printer/scanner/copier that I got from Charlotte. I made copies of some of the patterns so that I will be able to practice in my down time.

I am doing last-minute writing today while I manage to complete the stack of laundry that has been hiding in the closet. I don’t put as much work in to the house as I used to. My sense of pride is fading. I guess.

We are going through the stuff in the garage. We are scavenging the items left behind by careless family members. I have no guilt. We gave everyone the opportunity to get their crap out, so if I decide I want to keep something, it is totally okay. Most of it is getting thrown in the trash. If they didn’t care, why should I?

I had all of these epiphanies during the week, but sharing them seems unnatural. Trying to explain the way my brain works would take up too much time.