Slowly losing
The stress is starting to get to me. I know this because I"m having way to many "practice" contractions. In an effort to get my mind off of things, I'm going to talk about something else. Excellent plan, right?
I'd like to announce that we have, indeed, picked a color for the nursery. I did that thing you're supposed to do and I painted a square on the wall in the room and visited it at various times during the day to make sure that I liked it.
A lovely woman I'm Internet Friends with sent me this "love tree decal" for the nursery wall from my baby registry. I was happy to discover the shade of green complimented the design without washing out the green of the leaves. It's a small thing, but knowing that we'll have a painted wall and a decorative bit on the wall makes me feel good about myself.
I'm seven months pregnant and Adam and I have done nothing for the baby. We haven't bought anything and the nursery is currently under construction. I'm hoping that I won't let that drag me down. Life is just going to be this way. It's not a reflection of my imcompetence, or a projection that I will, somehow, be a horrible mother. I'm going to believe that.
My energy level has returned and I was able to do some cleaning. I know, I know, I'm a totally modern woman and I don't have to do these things to be considered valuable in my marriage, but some of us like it. I like the half-assed version of a 50's wife that I portray. I can't help it.
I found out a number of people are skipping my baby shower in favor of another girl's baby shower. I knew that one of my friends was going. Christian was stand-up enough to tell me. Everyone else is just not saying anything and I suppose that I was going to find out when they weren't there next Friday. Apparently my friend, Jenn, heard it from some other friend and I had to hear it from another person. So juvenile. I wouldn't be so hurt, but they're the same people that bailed on Mazzy's baby shower. It's lame. I guess I should just learn to cut ties. They're not going to be there for me, even when I really need them to be.
Let me be clear, I'm upset that they aren't telling me that they aren't coming. It's not about them choosing Falicia over me, but that they don't have the balls to tell me that they've made that decision.
Sure, they're former co-workers, but I thought we were friends, too. I thought that I'd been doing a good job at keeping contact, even though I've basically been trapped in the house with this pregnancy. I made the effort to keep lunch dates and celebrate birthdays and I really needed the supoport and the love for this baby.
But, I guess getting in to that isn't remaining positive, so that's all I'll say on the matter.
I think I bummed myself out. I better just stop here.
I'd like to announce that we have, indeed, picked a color for the nursery. I did that thing you're supposed to do and I painted a square on the wall in the room and visited it at various times during the day to make sure that I liked it.
A lovely woman I'm Internet Friends with sent me this "love tree decal" for the nursery wall from my baby registry. I was happy to discover the shade of green complimented the design without washing out the green of the leaves. It's a small thing, but knowing that we'll have a painted wall and a decorative bit on the wall makes me feel good about myself.
I'm seven months pregnant and Adam and I have done nothing for the baby. We haven't bought anything and the nursery is currently under construction. I'm hoping that I won't let that drag me down. Life is just going to be this way. It's not a reflection of my imcompetence, or a projection that I will, somehow, be a horrible mother. I'm going to believe that.
My energy level has returned and I was able to do some cleaning. I know, I know, I'm a totally modern woman and I don't have to do these things to be considered valuable in my marriage, but some of us like it. I like the half-assed version of a 50's wife that I portray. I can't help it.
I found out a number of people are skipping my baby shower in favor of another girl's baby shower. I knew that one of my friends was going. Christian was stand-up enough to tell me. Everyone else is just not saying anything and I suppose that I was going to find out when they weren't there next Friday. Apparently my friend, Jenn, heard it from some other friend and I had to hear it from another person. So juvenile. I wouldn't be so hurt, but they're the same people that bailed on Mazzy's baby shower. It's lame. I guess I should just learn to cut ties. They're not going to be there for me, even when I really need them to be.
Let me be clear, I'm upset that they aren't telling me that they aren't coming. It's not about them choosing Falicia over me, but that they don't have the balls to tell me that they've made that decision.
Sure, they're former co-workers, but I thought we were friends, too. I thought that I'd been doing a good job at keeping contact, even though I've basically been trapped in the house with this pregnancy. I made the effort to keep lunch dates and celebrate birthdays and I really needed the supoport and the love for this baby.
But, I guess getting in to that isn't remaining positive, so that's all I'll say on the matter.
I think I bummed myself out. I better just stop here.
Comments
Kimberly
You're totally right. I'm focusing on the wrong thing. She won't even remember.