Ignorance is Bliss
I swear, it's like my whole life is a stutter.
Not having a Facebook account is an amazing thing. I've had a few people (three out of my 100+) ask me about the deactivated account, but there hasn't been much hoopla. Good. I'm feeling great, and I hope they are, too. Over there. Where I can't wallow or compare. Or see them. I am a victim of Facebook Depression. Look it up. It's a thing they talk about on news shows instead of actual news because we're a happier nation if we have no idea what's going on.
After a bit of mental cleansing I'm finally feeling lighter. I had a surprise period (a week early) and it knocked me out for a couple of days. I was EXHAUSTED. I ironed with my eyes closed. I hope the clothes came out nice. I wouldn't know; I had my eyes closed.
I'm knocking a story idea around in my head. In true wussy fashion, I'm telling myself that it's going to be a short story so that I don't become overwhelmed. And quit. Before I've even typed a word. (Not that I've ever done that. That would be CRAZY.) Heh.
The idea was that this adorable little blog entry was to be my warm-up and I'd crank out an outline when I'm done, but I've totally taken too long to write this (because I'm supposed to crochet during General Hospital) and I don't think I'll have the time. Darn.
No, really.
Not having a Facebook account is an amazing thing. I've had a few people (three out of my 100+) ask me about the deactivated account, but there hasn't been much hoopla. Good. I'm feeling great, and I hope they are, too. Over there. Where I can't wallow or compare. Or see them. I am a victim of Facebook Depression. Look it up. It's a thing they talk about on news shows instead of actual news because we're a happier nation if we have no idea what's going on.
After a bit of mental cleansing I'm finally feeling lighter. I had a surprise period (a week early) and it knocked me out for a couple of days. I was EXHAUSTED. I ironed with my eyes closed. I hope the clothes came out nice. I wouldn't know; I had my eyes closed.
I'm knocking a story idea around in my head. In true wussy fashion, I'm telling myself that it's going to be a short story so that I don't become overwhelmed. And quit. Before I've even typed a word. (Not that I've ever done that. That would be CRAZY.) Heh.
The idea was that this adorable little blog entry was to be my warm-up and I'd crank out an outline when I'm done, but I've totally taken too long to write this (because I'm supposed to crochet during General Hospital) and I don't think I'll have the time. Darn.
No, really.
Comments
I think you are being really hard on yourself. I feel like perhaps you are making yourself feel like a failure when you are, in fact, not a failure.
I am super glad you are feeling lighter. That's a good feeling.
I know you probably didn't mean anything too deep with the "supposed to crochet" bit but these are things you enjoy - writing, crocheting. I hope that self-imposed "deadlines" or such don't suck out the fun of them!!
Familiar with this feeling, so familiar. I hope you'll give yourself some self-love and grace. You are not a wuss. You are not a quitter. I hope you find a space of time you can fill however you like - with writing or taking a delicious nap or drinking a cup of tea and crocheting. Whatever it might be!! Thank you for all the love and support you give to me - give some to yourself too! ;)
I'm notoriously hard on myself. I have to be because I'm hard on the people around me. I might be a bitch, but I'm nicer to people than I am to myself.