I Blinked

The progression from newborn in to 0-3 month clothing was gradual. I was able to give myself a few days to adjust to the idea that my baby was growing, stretching out like an unfurled slinky now that she was free from confines of my womb. I was able to nod my head sagely and say things like, “Oh, she isn’t going to be wearing this again” as I took off a onesie before changing her in to her pj’s. I felt important and knowledgeable in what was basically a crash-course in motherhood.

The switch from 0-3 to 3-6 month closing happened without my permission. I put a onesie on, only to realize that it didn’t fit. It was jarring and cruel. My delicate newborn is gone. In her place I have a softly rounded and alert infant with rapidly forming opinions about what she likes and doesn’t like.

Yesterday I picked my baby up out of her Moses basket and I thought that she looked so sweet in her basket. This morning I watched as she kicked and fought her way in to wakefulness, nearly rocking the basket all the way forward, and I was horrified. How did the (nearly) three months go so quickly? How am I going to get her adjusted to sleeping in her crib?

How am I going to sleep without her soft breathing in my room to reassure me that she hasn’t vanished in my sleep?