Selfish

Last night Adam was holding Mazzy, soothing her and shushing her, and she fell asleep on his lap. He turns to me and says, "See, you can stop nursing her at night. I can make her fall asleep." Adam's voice was so proud and happy. I was sad, for a moment, because I know that I am too selfish to allow him that. I won't give up my last two breastfeeding sessions. I don't know when I am going to be forced to completely wean her, but I want to keep that time for us for as long as I can.

It feels like from the moment I gave birth people, and circumstances, have been trying to take my daughter away from me and I really struggle with that train of thought. I know that it can't possiblely be true, but I am resentful and suspicious anyway.