Trigger Reaction (and then a poop story)
Have you ever had someone that you care about say something off-hand that (most likely) wasn't meant as anything negative, but it sends your brain off and 48 hours later you're staring at the knife you're using to chop potatoes like it holds all the answers in your world and wondering who'd be the best person to call to come sit with your daughter until Adam gets home while you bleed out in the bathtub?
No?
Just me, then?
No worries, I'm over the gut reaction and I'm not going to off myself. It's just the way my head works sometimes. Especially when I've not slept much the night before.
Why didn't you sleep?
Easy. I have a kid. A kid who was, apparently, in labor with a poop baby for six hours in the middle of the night. She woke up shortly after midnight and crankily tossed and on turned ON MY BODY (because sleeping next to me would be too far away) for the rest of the night, periodically shouting out in annoyance. But not sleeping.
Here's the thing: I'm a bad mother in the middle of the night. Instead of looking for a solution, I just assumed that she was being an asshole and dealt with the fussing. Maybe your kid isn't randomly an asshole, but mine is, and I've accepted that. And, usually, I'm right. Most of the time Nora is awake and angry for no reason at all. If I'd bothered to look last night I would've seen that the poor girl had a poo stuck halfway out her bum and was miserable.
Instead I waited until after six, the designated "Fuck, I have to get up and be a parent in daytime hours" start of my day. It was at that point that Adam and I helped Nora ease the rest of her poo into the world. Adam, a typical man, was strangely proud of the size and girth of the thing and walked around showing to the dog, like it was a prize.
Ugh. Men.
Of course, I'm not much better as I've written about it for the whole world to see. I'm making sure that her therapy is worth the cost.
No?
Just me, then?
No worries, I'm over the gut reaction and I'm not going to off myself. It's just the way my head works sometimes. Especially when I've not slept much the night before.
Why didn't you sleep?
Easy. I have a kid. A kid who was, apparently, in labor with a poop baby for six hours in the middle of the night. She woke up shortly after midnight and crankily tossed and on turned ON MY BODY (because sleeping next to me would be too far away) for the rest of the night, periodically shouting out in annoyance. But not sleeping.
Here's the thing: I'm a bad mother in the middle of the night. Instead of looking for a solution, I just assumed that she was being an asshole and dealt with the fussing. Maybe your kid isn't randomly an asshole, but mine is, and I've accepted that. And, usually, I'm right. Most of the time Nora is awake and angry for no reason at all. If I'd bothered to look last night I would've seen that the poor girl had a poo stuck halfway out her bum and was miserable.
Instead I waited until after six, the designated "Fuck, I have to get up and be a parent in daytime hours" start of my day. It was at that point that Adam and I helped Nora ease the rest of her poo into the world. Adam, a typical man, was strangely proud of the size and girth of the thing and walked around showing to the dog, like it was a prize.
Ugh. Men.
Of course, I'm not much better as I've written about it for the whole world to see. I'm making sure that her therapy is worth the cost.
Comments
I'm sorry it felt that way.
please don't off yourself.
sorry for nora's massive slow-poop. hope her tummy feels better.