Selfish
I am inordinately relieved to announce that my Mom is back home. I no longer have to drive 45 minutes in traffic to listen to her complain about everything, I can do it from the comfort of my own home! Whee!
I feel so guilty about the extreme relief. I mean, I wasn't even subtle about it when I picked her up to drive her home on Wednesday. I was speeding and weaving through cars, talking a mile a minute so that there wouldn't be any information she needed to know once I had her safely back in her apartment. Yes, she did notice, but seemed to understand my enthusiasm to have the whole thing over with because it mirrored her own feelings on the matter. It is rare, and beautiful, when we are on the same wavelength about the amount of time we should be spending together. Read: Minimal.
Of course, if she called me right now and said that she needed me, I would do everything in my power to make that happen. I am just that kind of daughter.
I also have guilt because my ordeal is over and I know that a close friend of mine (Hi, Val!) is in a much more time-consuming, long-term situation with no help and no end in sight. I want, so badly, for her to be able to call me and say, "It's over." Honestly, I can't even say I would be particularly picky about how the whole thing ended for her and that makes me a bad person. Her mom isn't my concern, she is.
I watch my daughter play on the floor and I accept that one day, long in the future, she will also loathe having to spend time with me. It is the circle of life. At least I can enjoy all of the slobbery kisses in between.
I feel so guilty about the extreme relief. I mean, I wasn't even subtle about it when I picked her up to drive her home on Wednesday. I was speeding and weaving through cars, talking a mile a minute so that there wouldn't be any information she needed to know once I had her safely back in her apartment. Yes, she did notice, but seemed to understand my enthusiasm to have the whole thing over with because it mirrored her own feelings on the matter. It is rare, and beautiful, when we are on the same wavelength about the amount of time we should be spending together. Read: Minimal.
Of course, if she called me right now and said that she needed me, I would do everything in my power to make that happen. I am just that kind of daughter.
I also have guilt because my ordeal is over and I know that a close friend of mine (Hi, Val!) is in a much more time-consuming, long-term situation with no help and no end in sight. I want, so badly, for her to be able to call me and say, "It's over." Honestly, I can't even say I would be particularly picky about how the whole thing ended for her and that makes me a bad person. Her mom isn't my concern, she is.
I watch my daughter play on the floor and I accept that one day, long in the future, she will also loathe having to spend time with me. It is the circle of life. At least I can enjoy all of the slobbery kisses in between.
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